


I'm Here

by catcondo



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, like his ex, the oc is just someone from the past, this is set after Black Mesa and a sort of continuation from my last story, where benrey and gordon are friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:07:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcondo/pseuds/catcondo
Summary: in which im angry so i decided to write a hurt comfort frenrey fic to cope
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 7
Kudos: 261





	I'm Here

Dress shoes clacked onto wet cement as rain fell down from above.

Clack clack clack clack clack clack.

A door slammed shut and all that was left was the harsh pitter-patter of the rain in the middle of the night.

Gordon leaned onto the door behind him, now in the safety of his own home. He was soaking wet from head to toe and shivered as he took a deep breath to calm himself from recent events. Slowly, he opened his eyes to his unlit apartment. They trailed to a cardboard box in the corner of the living room. It was covered in colorful crayon drawings, most of which were red- Joshua’s favorite color. It took the shape of a rocket. Gordon closed his eyes again and tried not to think about it too much. At least for right now. He exhaled, mulling over his thoughts at the door. Eventually he convinced himself to grab a spare set of clothes and make his way to the bathroom for a hot shower. He really needed one. He was freezing.

As he let the hot water hit his bare back, his mind trailed back to what had happened. He had gone to pick up Joshua at Angela’s place, they got into a big fight, she pushed him out the door and refused to let him bring Joshua with him for the week. Her words still rang in his head, even now. “You’re too laid-back, Gordon. I can never count on you to do anything.” He shook his head at the thought. No- no he was the opposite of laid-back. He was always so uptight and stressed. How could she have gotten that image of him? It’s because she expects him to do whatever she asks and didn’t want him to protest- ever. Whenever he refused to do something or did it without her permission she lashed out on him. He was sick of it.

He sighed as the steam started to engulf the bathroom, breathing in the hot air. That’s enough thinking about that. He told himself to give him a break- at least until his shower was done. Eventually he got into the rhythm of his regular shower rituals and the feeling of the hot water over him.

He stepped out, drying himself off and wrapping a towel over his hair before shrugging on his fresh, clean clothes. He was glad the mirror was too fogged up to see himself in, or else he’d be staring into some depressed fucking eyes. He took two steps into the hallway before stopping. What was he going to do again? He debated going to the couch and watching TV, but decided to just go to bed. He was too tired for self-indulgence. 

He slipped into bed and didn’t even have the energy to make himself comfortable. The exhaustion made him lay there, glued to that position like a pile of bricks. It felt like a large dog was sitting right on his chest. His lidded eyes stared at the dark ceiling above him. He felt like a coward. He could handle something as messed up as Black Mesa and the psychological horrors that came with it, but when it came to his personal life he was completely drained. 

He couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried, his brain was just too active to calm down and rest. But his body groaned at him to, and it annoyed him to no end. So he settled for staring at the ceiling longer until he passed out.

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep.

He must have been on his 50th sheep when a knock sounded from the front door. He couldn’t bother to get up and open it, but he turned his head to the clock at his bed stand to see that it was 1 am. Who could possibly bother him at this hour?

Another knock came, then another. He groaned and got out of bed, his body screaming at him to go back go baaack. But he ignored it, deciding that whoever was on the other side of the door must have something important to say. Eventually he slugged his way over to it and mumbled out a tired ‘who’s there’ that even he didn’t know he could sound like. When no one answered, he curiously opened the door to find Benrey on the other side. He opened his mouth to say something but Benrey beat him to it.

“yoooo what’s up bro-...” He cut himself off after having one look at Gordon’s face. He looked really bad. Tired, his eyes red and puffy with dark circles prominent. He looked like he did when they were in Black Mesa, just without the grime and blood. “uh... bro?”

Gordon looked at him for a moment, still keeping his dead expression, until he realized he probably looked horrible. He quickly pipped up and ran a hand up his face, trying not to look too bad. “Yeah. Hey. What’s up Benrey? What’re you doing here so late?”

Benrey looked a little concerned but decided to ignore it. “was just in the uh. place. neighborhood. and decided to stop by.” Gordon squinted at him. “At 1 am?” He then shook his head. It’s something Benrey would do. “Come in.” As he turned on the light to illuminate the hallway he could see Benrey, completely dry, in some sandals. He considered asking how he wasn’t wet from the pouring rain outside but didn’t have the energy to question him.

Benrey immediately made his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for anything tasty he could munch on. Gordon, too tired to protest, let him, and sat down on the couch as he waited for the other to finish ravaging his kitchen. The security guard came back with two bags of chips and a can of soda in his arms, dropping them onto the coffee table in front of the couch and sitting down next to him. He turned on the TV, and the Great British Baking Show droned out in the background. Gordon was staring at the screen. He could hear the voices from it vaguely, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was staring off into space, too engrossed in his own thoughts to be in the moment.

“sooo uhh…” a voice sounded from beside him, “how’ve you been bro?” Gordon didn’t answer- didn’t even glance over at him. “bro?” Gordon blinked and seemed to snap back to reality, looking at Benrey with an unreadable expression. “Yeah?”  
Benrey didn’t talk for some time. Just looked at him expressionless as always, but Gordon knew his brain was thinking. “it happened again huh.” He already knew. He’s seen Gordon like this before and he’s heard the explanation. “man…. that’s just- that’s just messed up…” Gordon half-heartedly nodded at that. Silence came over them, save for the TV in the background. Gordon went back to his dazed state, his face morphing back into the sad one Benrey saw when he opened the door.

After a while, Benrey spoke up again. “listen,” cold fingers came into contact with Gordon’s chin, and his attention was brought back to the man sitting beside him. Benrey grasped his chin, although not roughly, and kept eye contact with him as he spoke. “stop thinking about it dude. you’re so much more than what she thinks you are. ok? uh. just…” He looked a bit squeamish- he’s never assured anyone before. “the only person that knows you better than everyone else is yourself dude. don’t let others label you. you ain’t a bad person.”

Gordon’s eyes widened at his little speech. He’s never heard him give advice before, or even care about his problems in the first place. But his words touched his heart, and he nodded along to what he said, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I guess so…” His eyes trailed to the side, looking away from the other’s. Benrey quickly squeezed his chin and made him bring his eyes back. “no. you know so dude. I know so.” 

That brought a little smile to his face. He patted the security guard’s arm- the one that was holding his chin- and that made him let go. “Thanks, Benrey.” To which Benrey gave a small ‘no problem man.’ They went back to silence, just watching the show in front of them.

But Gordon wanted to say something about what had happened and how he felt. He didn’t want to say silent. “I just-” He started, still looking at the TV as Benrey’s attention came back to him. “I can’t help but think about Joshua, you know? I didn’t want this to happen… no one did. I think that’s how all break ups work but I just- I just-” He choked on his words for a moment and squinted his eyes, “I don’t want Josh growing up like this. With all the fighting… and his parents split…” Benrey only nodded and stayed silent, waiting for him to finish.

“I really loved her at one point, man. We met at my first job-” to which Benrey replied with ‘I know’- “and hit it off immediately. I don’t know why we had a kid. We ended up fighting more than usual before that- why did we make that decision? I-” There were tears forming in the corners of his eyes and he took a deep breath, his throat starting to pinch. “I’m not saying I regret- having a kid- I’m just saying I just- I didn’t want-” He felt Benrey’s arms snake around him and immediately hunched over himself, leaning onto the other, covering his own face as to not be seen crying. But the tears made the other’s jacket wet- there was no use hiding it.

Benrey just sat there and held the other’s head and shoulders to his chest, making a soothing up and down motion with his hand over Gordon’s arm. He coo’d a little at him as he sobbed out. “hey its ok.” He would say as the other hunched more into himself, “you dont got nothin’ to worry about.” In reality, he knew exactly the pain Gordon was going through. The responsibilities a parent has are endless, and the situation he was in made it worse. But he wouldn’t let him give up. “the only thing you can do is be a cool dad to josh. so make sure you’re the coolest ok? I bet Angela doesn’t make cardboard box rockets with him like you do.”

Gordon gave off a slight muse at that. He was reduced to sniffles, which made Benrey happier. He wasn’t sobbing anymore. It took him a while, but he was regaining himself. Eventually, though, he let him go, and Gordon straighted his back. He wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his sleeve before realizing he’d need to go wash his face instead. He didn’t look Benrey in the eyes as he got up to go to the bathroom, only thanking him silently. He didn’t even meet his own eyes in the mirror as he washed his face. After that he just stood, hunched over the sink for a minute or two, maintaining steady breaths. Then he went back to the living room and the couch, where Benrey was still sitting, now having opened the chips he stole from the kitchen. He offered some to Gordon and he humbly accepted them, savoring their flavor as he sat down next to him- closer than before. Their shoulders were touching this time. They munched on their snacks in silence and listened to Mary Berry compliment the bakers on their excellent chocolate mousse cakes.

“Hey.” Benrey looked over to Gordon. “Thanks. For that. It means a lot. I know it’s kind of pathetic- seeing a grown man cry but. I really needed that.”

Benrey only nodded. They went back to watching the show.

“hey.”

Gordon looked over at Benrey this time. “don’t sweat it. I’m always here for you man.”

They both smiled at each other and went back to silently watching the show.


End file.
